> so i got so many cracks about being the 'girl on top' that drag in a
> gay bar in the middle of san francisco seemed the most logical way for
> me to raise money there are so many charities here and basically most
> americans i hate to say it are only concerned with themselves...
> although a lot of people do love animals and were compassionate about
> that there were probably about 75 people at my event - i knew pretty
> much everyone (except a couple of them brought friends). i wont say
> advertising was a complete waste of time, but all those hours
> designing flyers, getting them printed and handing them out and
> putting them in cafes, community centres, newspapers and online groups
> would have been a waste of my precious time except to learn the hard
> and long way how not to do things that way next time ;)
>
> everyone LOVED LOVED LOVED the event
> it made me so happy (even though i was frantic - as i did not have a
> committee!!!) to watch people laugh and have a great time i told
> myself beforehand that i was just going to have fun and forget about
> raising money and that's exactly what i did!!
> my food person had dropped out 10 days before the event and my biggest
> support (my sponsor) and i had a bit of a 'break up' 10 days before
> also. so i was left doing everything myself again. its been that way
> since the start. i did find it very hard asking people for help. but
> on the night i could not possibly take tickets at the door, set the
> bands up, set up the silent auction, sell raffle tickets and give the
> mc the raffle prizes and co-host the event - so i DID have to ask for
> help at the last minute!! and i WISH i could have had time to take a
> few pictures... next time!!
>
> thank god for heidi from amazon promise she was an angel she turned up
> early!!!! and helped set up the slideshow and sat at the door for the
> first 2 hours then she gave a perfect speech short and sweet and to
> the point and she was so cute in a little skirt and bubbly little
> personality that it fit right in with the show
>
> the drag queens were AMAZING. my friend john (aka Ivy Drip) had been
> a great support to me over the past 2 weeks. i had a lot of stuff
> going on emotionally which had little, if nothing, to do with Girls on
> Top, but just life in general. i find queer folk can be incredibly
> understanding and compassionate in these times and john was just
> fabulous and a great ear and an incredible help with dragging me out
> of the dark cupboard where i was found choking in my own snot and
> heartache more than a few times leading up to the event. he'd just
> tell me to shut up, get over yourself and lets go have some fun!!
>
> so the event didnt start on time people turned up late, the slideshow
> was crooked, the sound person was really grumpy to begin the night,
> half the performers didnt turn up til after we started and more than
> half the audience were living on a shoestring budget and my heart-
> strings were being thrashed by 2 people in the bar who were just as
> uncomfortable as me im sure...
> but we all had a brilliant time!!! there was laughter and naughtiness
> all night long and we made about $1400 on the night (with another $400
> in raffle tickets @$2 each leading up to the event).
>
> the bands were brilliant and rockin and i know they were booked for at
> least 2 other events, as were the drag queens, and me as a musician,
> by the end of the night. o and i have to say that auctioning off
> PEOPLE as DATES works really well to raise money :) :) :)
>
> there was so much love and support in that bar. i felt so proud of
> myself for following through with the event and also for having the
> courage to get on stage and sing my own original songs in SAN FRAN
> PSYCHO!!!! there had been so many setbacks leading up to the event.
> there really is a huge level of fear in the majority of people here
> and a sense that there isnt enough!!! but im here to pronounce there
> is enough and we ARE enough!!! i've attached one of the cheesey songs
> i sang the other night which most people seem to like. i guess most
> people in the western world can relate to that feeling of inadequacy.
> sometimes its hard to see the bigger picture. its great to have
> goals, but i always like to know there is a back door at any time. if
> i give myself permission to exit at any stage then im much more likely
> to stick around with the uncomfortable feelings and take each step as
> it comes.
>
> its funny how much i seem to pack into my life. some of my friends
> worry about it, others laugh and some just shake their head, waiting
> for the phone call of me in tears sobbing that 'everything is a mess,
> how did it get so bad so quick??" so starting monday i am taking 2
> summer school courses (because one full time course is not enough...)
> day school AND night school. and to top it off i decided to pay for
> it in labor rather than cash. hahaha so im supposed to be working as
> well. and have i bought stuff for the trek yet??? ..... or figured
> out my living situation or work situation or anything??.... o well,
> for today, im going to clean up the left over raffle prizes from
> people who have not yet collected them, put the bike on ebay (the
> winner of the main prize donated it back) and set up my keyboard so i
> can have a sing if there is time. passion. i love it. a full life
> is so much better than an empty life. i can say that with conviction
> from experience. im aiming for the serene life, but im hoping maybe
> the mountains can help me find a bit more of that!!